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As backpacks grow heavier and the new school year hits its stride, parents everywhere are navigating familiar territory with fresh anxiety. Amid academic pressure, extracurricular demands and the ever-mysterious world of teenage emotions, it’s tempting to either wrap your child in cotton wool or hide under the covers until December.

But according to Lumka Kraai, an occupational therapist at Netcare Akeso Umhlanga specialising in adolescent mental health and family support, the key to helping your teen thrive isn’t about hovering or disappearing – it’s about finding the middle ground, where consistent, intentional support at home can make a meaningful difference.

“The first thing to understand is that all teens are not the same. What works for someone else’s child won’t necessarily work for yours,” explains Kraai. She cautions against copying what worked for a neighbour’s teen or even an older sibling, warning that parents place themselves at a great disadvantage when they try to apply a ‘one size fits all’ approach.

So, what is a parent to do? Kraai’s starting point might surprise you: “Simply ask your teenager what they need from you. It’s amazing how often we forget that the person with the most insight into supporting your teen is… your teen.” 

Lumka Kraai, occupational therapist at Netcare Akeso Umhlanga specialising in adolescent mental health and family support

 

Building life skills (without the eye rolls) Helping your child develop executive skills such as time management, planning, organisation, and emotional regulation can make a real difference in how they Share the family calendar digitally. Your child can then see when you’re busy too, making planning less about nagging and more about everyone being on the same page. Create a practical household routine together. We all thrive and function better with routine. Include everything from chores to downtime, and yes, that means scheduled time to scroll TikTok guilt-free. Institute “Sunday resets.” A weekly session in which the family plans for the week ahead to prevent Monday morning meltdowns. The screen time battle (yes, we’re going there …) Before you throw your hands up in defeat, Kraai offers realistic approaches to the digital dilemma. Build in sensory breaks between homework sessions – a quick walk or stretch can work wonders. Create regular “off-screen” family time that doesn’t feel like punishment. Lead by example, which means putting your own phone down.

 

Beyond the report card
Here’s where many well-meaning parents sometimes fall short. “Offering academic support to your child throughout the year is important, but that alone is not enough. They need to be supported emotionally as well,” emphasises Kraai.

During this time of their lives, teenagers are juggling everything from identity crises and friendship drama to figuring out who they want to be – all while trying to master algebra and pass chemistry. To ease the pressure, Kraai suggests:

• Make time for fun as a family. Not everything needs to be about good grades, preparing for university, and life beyond.
• Keep communication lines open – but don’t interrogate them the moment they walk in the door.
• Resist the comparison trap. “Avoid comparing them to others, including their peers and siblings. Your teenager already does enough of that on social media,” advises Kraai.
• Watch for warning signs. Sudden isolation, mood swings, outbursts of anger, or a loss of interest in activities they used to love could signal something deeper.
• Build a support network. Regular check-ins with teachers, coaches, and other adults in your adolescent’s life can help you spot issues you might otherwise miss.

The basics still matter
Even the most independent child needs reminders about self-care, especially during exam season. Kraai emphasises the basics:

• Consistent sleep schedules – eight hours a night, with the same sleep and wake-up times.
• Regular, balanced meals that go beyond caffeine and snacks.
• Daily movement, whether it’s sport, walking, or dancing in their room.
• Protected fun time, especially at weekends – bonus points if it’s with family.

When good enough is perfect
Kraai advocates fostering a growth mindset “where effort and progress are valued over perfection.” This helps young people build the resilience they’ll need long after leaving school.

And if things get tough? “Seeking additional support from school wellbeing staff or mental health professionals can be a proactive step, not a sign of failure,” she reminds parents.

Pace yourself, parents. You’ve got this
“Ultimately, the most powerful support a parent can offer is a safe, consistent relationship. When children feel understood, supported, and accepted, they are far better equipped to navigate the academic and emotional demands of the school year.

“Your teen doesn’t need a perfect parent – they need a present one. Someone who knows when to step in, when to step back, and when to hand over the car keys and trust that all those years of guidance will kick in,” concludes Kraai.

Ends.

About Netcare Akeso
Netcare Akeso operates a network of private inpatient mental health facilities and is part of the Netcare Group. Netcare Akeso provides individual, integrated and family-oriented treatment in specialised inpatient treatment facilities, as well as certain outpatient services, for a range of psychiatric, psychological and substance use conditions. Please visit www.akeso.co.za or contact [email protected] for further information.

In the event of a psychological crisis, call 0861 435 787, 24 hours a day for emergency support. Psychiatrist consultations can be made through Netcare appointmed™, online at www.netcareappointmed.co.za or by calling 0860 555 565.

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